Kidarah Talks: Rockstar

Rockstar is about the struggle of being an artist in LA from the perspectives of two completely different people. The first, a girl who moved to LA at age 18 with nothing but a dream who got sucked into the craziness of the nightlife, was backstabbed by close friends, struggled with severe depression and anxiety, and was pushed to the brink of giving up. The second, a boy who grew up in the city of angels, grew up to tour all over the world playing guitar, while simultaneously struggling with drugs and alcohol, cheating, and keeping up with the fast lane. Two different perspectives that both led to the same conclusion: “I should trade off to be a rockstar.” No matter what else was going on in their lives, they both committed to one thing: to be exceptional in their gifts to be musicians and sharing their crafts with the world. Fame looks so shiny and simple from the outside perspective, but once you’re in this world, you begin to see just how dark and complicated it can get. So yes, being a rockstar is incredible - and I love that I get to express myself in my truest form, but beware: it doesn’t come without a steep cost.

This song was a labor of love that took over 2 years to fully finish. Not because the song physically took that long, but because I knew that this song needed the right featured artist who could convey the emotion I wanted to express with truth and grace. I met NELLO and began working with him on various music - months after conceptualizing Rockstar. There was actually a different featured artist on the record at the time that I had already mixed in myself, but his verse just didn’t feel right to me. So when I asked NELLO to be a part of the song instead, he agreed right after hearing it. His verse is so honest, you can truly hear the push and pull of what it is to be a rockstar in NELLO’s voice. NELLO beautifully shared that feeling you get when you’re on top of the world performing for huge crowds, to leaving your loved ones behind, to the battle of doing drugs and partying, and feeling like you need to keep up in that fast paced lane. I honestly don’t think anyone could have given this song what it needed better than him. That’s why I waited so long. Because I knew the pieces would fall into place but I needed to allow it to happen naturally. Sometimes we write songs prematurely - long before they’re needed by an audience or even long before we are capable of finishing them. This type of experience with a song is so fun to me because it showed me that just because something doesn’t get finished as quickly as you might want, it doesn’t take away from your skills as an artist. It actually shows how far you’re willing to go for your art. Meat always has more depth to its flavor after marinating it and you might say the same goes for a rockstar.